The Official Blog of Tara Marie Segundo, M.A.
As someone who struggled greatly to mold myself into the person I wanted to become, I’ve had a life-long fascination with high-achievers and people who seem to effortlessly succeed. My fascination led me to study people I admire in an attempt to raise the bar in my own life. I do believe that we’re here to constantly learn, improve, and teach what we know to others. In this sense, we’re never done—we can never stop learning or striving to improve, as the point of being here is to do something with our lives that contributes to the world in a positive way.
As part of my study of people who achieve and attain the highest level success, I also had to focus my attention on those who don’t. In this category of people, I identified two distinct groups: those who try and fail and eventually give up, and those who never try in the first place. People in the latter group confound me, yet fascinate me, the most. What would make anyone choose to sit on the sidelines of life while the rest of us are out on the field playing the game?
I’ve had conversations with private clients recently that made me want to address this in greater detail.
TARA MARIE’S TOP TEN WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!
SIX: Adjust Your Attitude
It is human nature to complain. I say this because it is behavior that I observe in the tiniest of people, like my baby nephews. No one taught them to whine and complain when they don’t get their way, but it seems to be something that they mastered at an early age. We all do it—we complain when we are made to do something that we deem unappealing, or when we don’t get our way in a situation. We complain about things that range from the very important to those that would seem insignificant to others. If you are my three year old nephew, you complain if Auntie Tara gives you the red cup instead of the blue cup or orange juice instead of milk. We want what we want.
Most of us desire a beautiful, toned body, but we complain because we have to eat well and exercise to maintain it. We whine when we are served steamed veggies and fish while others at the table are enjoying chicken wings and Ranch dressing. We moan about having to work out because we believe that it shouldn’t require so much effort.
I used to complain about going to the gym. There always seemed to be a list of activities that I would rather be doing, or I was too busy, or too stressed, or the outfit I wanted to wear was dirty, or blah, blah, blah.
I saw an interview years ago on TV that really shifted my perspective. A middle aged man who had lost a significant amount of weight (and maintained the weight loss) was asked how he stayed motivated to exercise consistently. His reply was simple yet profound. He said that rather than tell himself that he had to go to the gym, he told himself that he got to go to the gym.
TARA MARIE’S TOP TEN WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!
FIVE: Understand the power of cumulative exercise.
The single most common excuse that people give for not exercising is lack of time. I get it. I know what it’s like to have so much to do that you don’t even know where to begin. As my life has gotten more hectic, I have also had to get more creative.
At one point, I would not go to the gym at all if I didn’t have time for my “full” workout. My definition of a full workout meant time to do cardio, weights, and a full stretch at the end. Back in those days, I could kill an easy two and a half hours, five times a week doing my “full” workout. The days that I can devote that kind of time to the gym are long gone, but I’ve adapted.
The truth is, life is hard and life is always changing. We go through periods that are more challenging than others, and hopefully as things flow, they will also ebb. It is during the busy times that you must be extra diligent about maintaining some semblance of a routine or risk getting so out of the habit of exercising that you wake up a year and a half later wondering when the extra twenty-five pounds accumulated on your back side.
TARA MARIE’S TOP TEN WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!
FOUR: Give yourself a break.
I always get nervous when people describe their weekly exercise routine as though it is set in stone: “I do chest and triceps on Mondays, half of legs on Tuesdays, I rest on Wednesdays, do back and biceps on Thursdays, the other half of legs on Fridays, and shoulders on Saturdays. I also do abdominal training on Tuesdays and Fridays and cardio for exactly 45 minutes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays.”
While I admire their commitment, I wonder how they handle it when life gets in the way. I used to be very rigid with respect to my exercise routine—so much so that if I had planned to do a certain workout on any given day and I ran late or I could not be at the gym to perform my predetermined routine, I would skip the workout altogether. This is faulty thinking and I always felt frustrated because life rarely goes as planned (at least mine does not.)
I have learned two lessons that have served me well, both in the gym and in other areas of my life: remain flexible at all times and do the best you can with the circumstances you are given.
TARA MARIE’S TOP TEN WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!
THREE: Structure your time.
If you want to truly transform your life by making a plan of exercise and healthy nutrition a priority, you will literally need to MAKE it a priority. Many of us have good intentions, but the truth is we end up doing the things that we deem most important. Everything else gets done if we can fit it into our already-over-scheduled lives. I have found that when my schedule is too unstructured, I get much less done. I do what is in front of me at the moment and before I know it, the day is over and tasks remain unfinished. The best way to manage your time is to schedule blocks during which you will work on specific tasks.
When it comes to exercise, you must apply this same kind of structure to your plan. This is largely why working with a trainer is so effective. My clients have to book appointments with me in advance and without 24 hours notice, they are charged whether or not they keep a scheduled appointment. Once they book an appointment with me, they book the rest of their day around it.
TARA MARIE’S TOP TEN WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!
TWO: Put exercise at the top of your list. If you are truly committed to achieving your goals, you will sometimes have to sacrifice other things to make room for your fitness program. I am not suggesting that you don’t take your sick child to the doctor, but you may have to forgo meeting your friends for drinks after work when your time is tight.
I am reminded of one of my girlfriends who is quite the social butterfly. We laugh because she doesn’t have time to always get to the gym during the week because she has a very robust social schedule and has engagements most evenings. I, however, rarely have time to socialize during the week because I go to the gym in the evening after work.
We all make time for the activities that we believe are a priority and the rest we do when and if we “have time.” The truth is, everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, but we all place a different level of importance on different things. There is no right or wrong choice, but make sure that your choices are aligned with your goals.
I have worked with many movers and shakers and asked them how they make time for exercise during a busy week. Every person said the same thing: they schedule an appointment with themselves and keep the appointment, making it a priority as they do their appointments with CEOs and business clients.
Put exercise at the top of your list and book an appointment with yourself. Once you book the time, regard it as highly as you would any other appointment to which you are committed. You are certainly worth it.
Read Success Tip #1 if you missed it!
Shine on!
Tara Marie
Stay tuned for Tip #3!
TARA MARIE’S TOP TEN WAYS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!
ONE: Stop trying and start doing.
Set yourself up mentally for success with an “I will” attitude rather than an “I’ll try” attitude.
Saying “I’ll try” to exercise is really saying, “I will exercise if everything else gets done, if I am still in the mood, and if nothing better comes up.”
Yes, unexpected things happen and our best intentions are sometimes derailed, but the mindset that you bring to your self-care is of prime importance. If you take an “I’ll try” attitude toward your health and fitness plan, you are essentially putting yourself and your plan at the bottom of the list.
When you take an “I will” attitude, you are putting the two at the top of the list. In other words, unless you are dead or seriously disabled, you are going to find a way to fit some form of movement into your day—no excuses—period!
One of my favorite quotes is by Pat Riley, widely regarded as one of the greatest NBA coaches of all time. He said, “There are only two options regarding commitment; you’re either in or you’re out. There’s no such thing as life in-between.”
Decide now to bring an “I will” attitude to your life. Stop trying to do things and just do them. Make a commitment and hold yourself to a high standard.
Every day when you awaken is a chance for a fresh start. Decide today to be better, do better, and live better than yesterday. Greatness begins with a quiet decision to pursue excellence.
Shine on!
Tara Marie
